That Obscure Object of Desire

ISSUE #17

This week, I was just throwing some songs into a pot to see what kind of stew came out, and I accidentally made a playlist about burning desire. All the songs started circling the vague image of some second person, a "you" that maybe loved us back, maybe not - in the end, that was irrelevant. This type of all-consuming desire reflects more parts of yourself than of whatever poor soul you've zinged with (I watched all three Hotel Transylvania movies this week). It's an obsession, a recursive thing that feeds your own dopamine monsters and plays out an entire two-reeler in your head without any witnesses.

When we love someone and they're not around, it's an imagining and not a real person. By the time you finally see them, it's like meeting a celebrity. You have to downplay it, pretend they don't mean what they actually mean to you. This is usually very tough. If you let your feelings see the light, there's that chance they could curdle, get out of control, fly out of your hands and into the wind. The only love unspoiled is the type you hold dearly and never let out.

We all know that's not healthy, though. It's like buying a box of Hamburger Helper and never using it. Can you really say, after all those months of sitting with it, that it was a worthwhile thing to hold onto if you never took it out of the cupboard? There's no way to fix this except to throw it away, or to practice love with someone who's willing to participate, which, of course, is no fun and very hard work. We can always at least try to love ourselves - easier said than done.

Unrelated: Has everyone always known that "Don't Worry, Be Happy" slaps so hard? Let's listen again, I think we've all been mis-remembering. And thank you to Mobs for giving me yet another cool banner jif. Click the logo up-top to check out more of her work!