House Commons: Gryffindor

ISSUE #21

Last summer, I was bumming around at work on a Friday when I decided to make the type of playlist that you'd hear in the Slytherin common room. I pictured how cool it would be if Hogwarts had the equivalent of a college radio station for each house, a DJ à la Good Morning, Vietnam that got to pick the soundtrack to each common room, establishing the essential vibe of each house. One hundred percent that's my dream job. So I made the playlist, I tweeted it out, and it got a response. That was the very first Earwyrms, essentially — it showed me an audience for which to do these little playlist experiments.

I wanted to try it again, for those who might have missed it the first time. Since the 1st was the 20th anniversary of Harry's U.S. release, September for Earwyrms is now officially Pottermonth. Every Friday in September, I'll be highlighting a new House Commons playlist, and we'll be discussing our favorite fictional personality test.

Here are my disclaimers: it's been a long, long time since I've read the books. I was fervent and passionate at the time, but I've yet to have the chance to re-read them. Here's where I rank the movies, which I also haven't seen in quite a few years. By now the mega-fans have gone far beyond me, so compared to them, I'm no wizarding expert. I couldn't last in a trivia contest anymore. But I know music, and I'd like to think I know what would work best for each house's temperament.

Gryffindor is the only house I've never been mistaken for, I think because bravery and valor are not often associated with a man whose hands still shake violently every time he tries to sneak wine into a movie theater (three to four times a week). I think Gryffs are often unfairly viewed as the frat brothers and sorority sisters, the jocks, the buttoned-up preps — and sure, there's something a little normcore about the House of Harry, but the Gryffindor, as with all houses, contains multitudes.

There are loud Gryffs and timid Gryffs; right brains and left brains; politicians, activists, and lawyers alike. Musically, I've always pictured them leaning toward the Brooklyn garage revival of the early 2000s, or anything similarly crunchy. You also have your poptimists, like Carly Rae, and your Gryffs with depression, who gravitate toward tall and blue-blazered poets like The National. I can see the broken ones loving a more melodic emo, like Oso Oso or Modern Baseball, sad songs to kick around to, for those who prefer not to mope. Then, of course, there's their deep drive to fight for what's good — The Right to Party.

Sure, sometimes they're egomaniacs, but I find their loyalty and good moral compasses usually balance out that impulse. They're fit and fun, adrenaline junkies who take life as a game they know they can win. I'm actually surprised their common room isn't inside a Six Flags. But the most common thread that runs through them all is a willingness to break the rules — often those with deep, corrupted roots — to do what needs to be done, to stand up for the things that take guts to defend.

And so I say, enjoy! all you Lions out there. Here's to your bravery, to your loyalty, and to Carly Rae Jepsen.