House Commons: Hufflepuff

ISSUE #22

So here we are: The House that No One Wanted. For twenty years, every first-year who gets the Puff has scrambled for self-worth when they take off the Sorting Hat, no matter how strong their self-esteem once was. We can't help but define ourselves by what we're not, and as a Hufflepuff you don't get to hang your pride on something sturdy like "smart," "brave," or "melancholic." The world has deemed that you are not those things, and you swim in a morass of qualities that seem more like lessons for toddlers, like "honesty," "loyalty," and "patience." First thought: "Wait, aren't all people those things?"

Well, of course not; they are, in fact, some of the hardest things to be, which is difficult to see as a teenager. This is understanding that you age into. And so, the pendulum of public opinion has swung back in recent years, as we've all grown wiser and the blind elite have begun to listen for the true worth of the Hufflepuff.

One antiquated argument against Puffs has been the relatively low percentage of "great" wizards and witches that have passed through their door. This comes from the tired and uninformed — a lack of press does not mean a lack of talent. The Puff toils in silence, as is becoming to someone who understands the staggering awe of this vast universe. They have never compromised moral quality of their work for greed, for the hollow glory of fame or the thick snare of riches. Instead, they focus on the dirt, on things they can work with their hands. It tends to baffle anyone whose definition of success lies in clicks, likes, and empty praise; flakes of fleeting paper and blips on the cosmic map.

Their low profile comes from refusing to brag, which stems from a larger refusal to lie. Other houses fall victim to hucksterism, a pervasion of con-artists. As we saw during the Summer of Scam, plenty of nasty people can sneak into the public's good graces with a practiced smile. The Hufflepuff knows the flimsiness of truth, and they aren't interested in debating it. They grasp the abstract, but understand that to protect people, you must deal with the tangible. You can argue all you want about living in a simulation, but most points become moot when there's sand in your eyes.

Sadly, Puffs feel they have had to prove themselves because Rowling made it seem like a place to dump everybody who had nowhere else to go. But, as with most melting pots, it's ended up thriving as a tiny Bohemia, a community of artists who keep their heads down and their hearts up. It's the house with the most artistic verve, capable of blending realism with the avant-garde, a farmer's fatalism and a dreamer's drive. Think of Marilynne Robinson, Jane Austen, and Emily Dickinson; of David Lynch and the secret depths of the mundane; of Hayao Miyazaki and the natural sanctuary, Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke being two classics of Hufflepuff Cinema.

As for music, bedroom pop remains the Hufflepuff's domain. They need no permission to start creating, and artists like Yaeji and Anna of the North keep their masterpieces modest and low-key. I imagine the Puffs grow up on Belle & Sebastian and A Tribe Called Quest, but, of course, the patron saint is Fleetwood Mac. For who is Stevie Nicks but the spirit of Helga Hufflepuff, alive and well?

For all their hard work, Hufflepuff is somehow the chillest of all houses. Theirs is always the best dorm room to hang out in. It's something to celebrate — come in, plop on the futon, let's listen.